>.<
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Haayy. This is the part where I feel like I'm being sandwiched. Where I feel like escaping from my frustrations. Where I feel like renewing things for the first time. Gahd and so much more.
I'm so mixed up I don't even know how to convey my emotions or where to start. @____________________________________@
Gahd oh well, here it goes..
It's been really really scaring my lately.. the fact that we've been caught by some teachers doing a little LALA in school. Even though I usually just ignore it afterwards, my conscience speaks to me like crazy and I can't help but think too much. I'm so fearing the result if we get caught again. That'll be like the 3rd time now... Even if our solution's gonna be controlling the desire to like, 'hold hands intimately' (or whatever) when there are people around, it'll be hard but then I have to really really control myself to abide it. 'Cause I don't ever want to go to the guidance office and get a suspension from it. My parents will kill me.
Gahh. And I actually didn't thought I'd come up to the point where I'd experience the kind of situation where my friends had been holding back what they really feel about me. That they're concealing their jealousy. They feel that they're missing out a lot of things in my life right now. Haii. I feel so stupid for not realizing things before. I know.. it's because I'm too preoccupied with things and about 'them' which I didn't realize that I'm so engaged, we barely have our own time.
But I seriously haven't changed at all. It's only the time that we're lacking to be able to bring back our attachment together. And it's not true that I'm exchanging you guys to LALA just 'cause she's the one who I'm always with.. or she's the one whom I always share or tell my secrets with or to. It's nothing like that. I swear. I don't really have any idea on how to explain my situation concerning about her. Maybe because we're literally close inside the classroom? Also, maybe 'cause since she would always come up to me and we're textmates, we share a lot of random stuff. Gahh. You guys may not be the first ones to know.. @__@ But I will let you know things.. eventually. If there are some things that I you should know. @_@ I can't promise that I can be with you every lunch period. Gahh. Ipit talaga ako at this point. But I what I can promise is that I'll be open and I'll really make things work out with you guys. I'm really sorry. @_@
This'll be it for now.
>.<
I'm so bitter but I've seen better days. :)
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Haayy. This is the part where I feel like I'm being sandwiched. Where I feel like escaping from my frustrations. Where I feel like renewing things for the first time. Gahd and so much more.
I'm so mixed up I don't even know how to convey my emotions or where to start. @____________________________________@
Gahd oh well, here it goes..
It's been really really scaring my lately.. the fact that we've been caught by some teachers doing a little LALA in school. Even though I usually just ignore it afterwards, my conscience speaks to me like crazy and I can't help but think too much. I'm so fearing the result if we get caught again. That'll be like the 3rd time now... Even if our solution's gonna be controlling the desire to like, 'hold hands intimately' (or whatever) when there are people around, it'll be hard but then I have to really really control myself to abide it. 'Cause I don't ever want to go to the guidance office and get a suspension from it. My parents will kill me.
Gahh. And I actually didn't thought I'd come up to the point where I'd experience the kind of situation where my friends had been holding back what they really feel about me. That they're concealing their jealousy. They feel that they're missing out a lot of things in my life right now. Haii. I feel so stupid for not realizing things before. I know.. it's because I'm too preoccupied with things and about 'them' which I didn't realize that I'm so engaged, we barely have our own time.
But I seriously haven't changed at all. It's only the time that we're lacking to be able to bring back our attachment together. And it's not true that I'm exchanging you guys to LALA just 'cause she's the one who I'm always with.. or she's the one whom I always share or tell my secrets with or to. It's nothing like that. I swear. I don't really have any idea on how to explain my situation concerning about her. Maybe because we're literally close inside the classroom? Also, maybe 'cause since she would always come up to me and we're textmates, we share a lot of random stuff. Gahh. You guys may not be the first ones to know.. @__@ But I will let you know things.. eventually. If there are some things that I you should know. @_@ I can't promise that I can be with you every lunch period. Gahh. Ipit talaga ako at this point. But I what I can promise is that I'll be open and I'll really make things work out with you guys. I'm really sorry. @_@
This'll be it for now.
